The Harley Chronicles: Coat and Boots and Visitor IQ

The longest season in Northwest Ohio is winter (though I’m not exactly sure which months count as winter—school was not my best subject). It feels like the cold months stretch on forever, with snow covering everything and icy winds cutting through even the warmest layers. Just when we think spring is arriving, winter makes an encore appearance.

As winter approaches, I never know what my people will come up with to keep me safe and warm. This particular year, we had some snow and a lot of ice. My preciously pampered paws often tread through places where a significant amount of ice melt—otherwise known as road salt—is strewn. While it may be great for keeping humans from slipping, for someone like me—who walks barefoot everywhere—it’s a painful experience. The salt burns, dries out my paws, and makes every step feel like walking on bits of glass.

Most people don’t understand why some pet owners insist on dressing their beloved companions in tiny outfits and shoes. My people, however, are not most people—they have chosen to remind me on multiple occasions that my purpose in life is for free labor at Digital 55 and cheap entertainment.

I live a life of luxury (as I should), and that means my paws are used to the comforts of carpet, warm blankets, and smooth floors—not jagged ice and burning road salt. Because everyone knows that I have pampered paws, one of my people thought it was a great idea to try donning boots on me for protection. Have you ever heard of such a thing? A canine wearing boots? The mere thought was absurd! Dogs are supposed to be wild and free, not prancing around in tiny shoes like a fashion model on a runway. Yet, for some reason, my people seemed determined to make this a reality.

Anyway, when I see a smirk on my people’s faces, I know something is going to happen that I would not have chosen on my own. I am a “people pup,” and I do like to try new things on occasion—especially when it is going to end up in my stomach. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days. There was a bag that I felt the need to investigate. I used my supremely keen olfactory senses, but I could not figure it out. I used my superhuman eyesight, but it still did not give me the information that I needed to figure out what was going on.

Eventually, my people pulled the boots out of the bag, and after I took one look at them, all of my Super Harley Senses were telling me it was not going to be a good day. I had seen humans wear shoes before—many kinds, actually. But I had never once thought that they would try to force them upon me. I tried to slink away, but my efforts were futile. They gave the command, “Come, Good Girl.” Now, I know this command well. It usually means belly rubs, treats, or something fun is about to happen. But I wasn’t so sure this time. My instincts were screaming at me to run, but my loyalty and desire to please won out.

They then told me, “Paw.” Now, I do enjoy showing off my queen imitation, offering up one of my extremities, expecting someone to kiss my ring. Ring kissing never happens, but I can dream—and I do. Dream, I mean. Several times a day, in fact. I’d say I’m an expert. But I digress.

I offered up my left paw. Instead of holding it at the bottom and shaking while receiving the usual praise, I was being held at the metacarpals. This could not be good. My people proceeded to put a boot on one of my paws! What in the world was happening to me? I may not be able to fully explain what happened next, but I will try. The ground beneath me no longer felt like the ground—it had morphed into a puffy, fluffy experience. I could not feel the familiar textures of my world. Instead, my paws were awkwardly hovering, flailing, reaching for stability that no longer existed.

One paw would shoot up, then another would lift, which would make the first paw go back down. My four extremities were doing all kinds of weird things, moving in ways I had never intended. It was very unbecoming of a Chief Barketing Officer. Part of the time, I was kicking my back legs up like a bucking bronco; part of the time, it was unilateral; and some of the time, I felt like I was stuck in concrete, unable to move at all. I tried to ask my people for help, but they were of no use. Instead of assisting me, they laughed. They laughed so hard that they could barely stand. When I tried to approach them for help, they walked away from me—laughing even harder.

Side note: At Digital 55, we are willing to try new things, especially when a customer asks for it. Sometimes the results are fantastic, and sometimes, well, not so much.

I figured I could give these boots a chance. After all, what choice did I have? I started to get the hang of my higher elevation, and eventually, my coordination came back. I realized that I did not get salt stuck in my paws anymore, and I also realized that when my people dress me up in a coat and boots, it is because they see that, although I look like a canine, I am human, too. Well, I guess wearing a coat and boots doesn’t make me human, but it does show that my people love me and consider me part of the family.

Sometimes doing the same old thing and expecting a different result is just plain crazy. We have to break out of our molds, out of our paradigms, and see that there could be something better out there for us. This applies to marketing as well. Are you constantly doing the same, boring marketing strategies and afraid of trying something else because it will simply be “more of the same”? Do you listen to someone just because they’ve been working in the industry longer than you and they got good results? There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy for everyone.

That is why we developed our newest product, Visitor IQ. Instead of buying a lead list that will only give you about 25% deliverability, Visitor IQ can identify about 80% of the people who anonymously visit your website. These are not leads. They are visitors seeking out your products or services. We will never try to sell you leads. We discourage buying lists. We will show you how your own visitors can increase your sales with more actionable data. If you call our people up, they probably will not even say the “L” word.

Give Visitor IQ a try. Tell them Harley sent you. They might even let you take Visitor IQ out for a test drive.

Disclaimer: Harley receives compensation for her endorsement of Visitor IQ. Stop into Digital 55 today and tell Harley “Hello.” She will bring a smile to your face because she knows you are coming just to see her! Harley’s testimonial is unsolicited and based on her real-life experience with the people, products, and services of Digital 55. Results are typical but not guaranteed. Her opinions are not a substitute for actually trying Visitor IQ.